The War on Breakfast Bogs Down

Nick Gillespie writes in Reason about the Obama Administration's continued War on Breakfast, as busybody regulators try to stop Cheerios' Reign of Terror.

The Wash Post reports on burgeoning efforts by the Obama administration to butt into even more aspects of everyday life and treat us all as if we have the brainpower of Joe Biden. "A handful of Obama appointees," writes the Post, "are awakening a vast regulatory apparatus with authority over nearly every U.S. workplace, 15,000 consumer products, and most items found in kitchen pantries and medicine cabinets."

Near the top of the list? The dread menace of Cheerios, the burp-inducing breakfast cereal that lies (lies!) about its crunchety goodness and heart-helping properties. Or at least needs to run clinical studies on more unwilling children:

If they're going after Cheerio's, for crying out loud, isn't bacon going to be next? I'm sure the Nobel Committee will rescind the award. In the meantime, we need a champion to stand up for breakfast, and John Belushi isn't available.

Fox News Discovers the War on Breakfast

Fox News is now reporting on the Obama Administration's attack on Cheerio's heart-healthy marketing campaign.

Some of us have been reporting on the War on Breakfast for a while.

The War on Breakfast Continues

It's about time someone had the courage to take on Cap'n Crunch and the Military-Breakfast Complex:

On May 21, a judge of the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California dismissed a complaint filed by a woman who said she had purchased "Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries" because she believed "crunchberries" were real fruit. The plaintiff, Janine Sugawara, alleged that she had only recently learned to her dismay that said "berries" were in fact simply brightly-colored cereal balls, and that although the product did contain some strawberry fruit concentrate, it was not otherwise redeemed by fruit. She sued, on behalf of herself and all similarly situated consumers who also apparently believed that there are fields somewhere in our land thronged by crunchberry bushes.

Of course, we really should give credit to the Obama Administration, whose groundbreaking leadership has inspired us all in the War On Breakfast.

Obama Administration Goes After Cheerios

The Obama Administration is chiding General Mills for claiming that eating Cheerios will lower your cholesterol:

The Food and Drug Administration scolded the makers of Cheerios about the way they promote the cereal's health benefits. The FDA sent a letter of warning to General Mills accusing them of making unauthorized health claims.

Current boxes of Cheerios are touting what the company calls exciting news -- the cereal's ability to help lower cholesterol 10 percent in one month.

Cheerios, part of this balanced breakfast, by prescription only.

What's next? Should Snap, Crackle and Pop register with the ATF? Drag Captain Crunch before the war crimes tribunal? And let's not start with Sonny the Cocoa Puffs bird and his mockery of the mentally ill.

Of course, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and we should be used to marketing that tells us that their breakfast product will make us healthier: